Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
