There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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