I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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