I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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