Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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