I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
