Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
there's paper in my vomit.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
