I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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