Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
