so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
