did you get engaged???
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
