Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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