Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just cropdusted the office
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
