And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
