Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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