how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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