Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
