none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
