yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
