I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
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