marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
