it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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