I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize