Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
