I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
