That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
