Apparently you make a good broom.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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