I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
