Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
