Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
