2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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