I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
