so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
