you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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