i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
