Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
