it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
