Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize