remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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