There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
