You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I need moral support for this bender
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
