i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And then my night got REAL pukey
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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