NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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