Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
