ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I smell stomach acid.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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