In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
