they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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