The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I've blown a few things in my day
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
