it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
