Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
