If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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