OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
