well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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