wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
