so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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