New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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