I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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