I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
