I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
