Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
