This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
