Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
