Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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