This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
