I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
