Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
